NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES

[THE FUGITIVE]

An example of the out-of-body component of the near-death experience is the case of Jazmyne Cidavia-DeRepentigny of Hull Georgia.  She died on the operating table during surgery in late 1979 (pages 10-11, paperback version, "BEYOND THE LIGHT"):
"I must say that this experience was quite unsettling to say the least.  I was floating over my body.  I could see and hear everything that was being said and done.  I left the room for a short while and then returned to where my body lay.  I knew why I died.  It was because I couldn't breathe.  There was a tube down my throat and the medical staff did not have an oxygen mask on my nose.  I had also been given too much anesthetic.

"In my out-of-body state, I'm using my mind to try and make my right arm and hand move - my arms are extended parallel to my physical body.  I want my right hand to move, any thing to move.  I was trying to pull the tube out of my mouth.  I looked down at my face and tears were streaming.  One of the nurses blotted the tears from my face but she didn't notice my breathing had stopped, nor did she see me next to her.  At this point, I'm trying really hard to make my physical arm move, but it's like my whole body is made of lead."

Cidavia-DeRepentigny's determination in her out-of-body state to make an arm move finally paid off; and, with great clamor and commotion, the tube was pulled out, an oxygen mask attached, and her breathing restored.  She had a similar near-death episode when she was hospitalized at thirteen, and again in 1991 when she faced death a third time.  The more recent occurrence resulted from a nearly fatal bout with pneumonia, only this time she witnessed her own soul as a spirit residing outside of her body:

"I could see my spirit standing before me.  My spirit was so beautifully perfect, dressed in a white gown that was loose, free-flowing, and below the knee.  From my spirit there emanated a bright, soft-white halo.  My spirit was standing six to eight feet from my body.  It was so strange, for I could see my spirit and my spirit could see my pathetic body.  I had not an ounce of color and I looked all withered and cold and lifeless.  My spirit felt warm and so, so celestial.  As my spirit slowly moved away, my spirit told my body goodbye, for my spirit saw the light and wanted to go into it.  The light was like a circular opening that was warm and bright."

Cidavia-DeRepentigny spoke of feeling torn between two worlds - wanting to remain on earth while at the same time feeling a strong pull to unite with her spirit self and pass into the light.  After another round of hospitalization, she was left confused and disoriented, ready to change her life yet hesitant to begin.  She lamented about the lack of people she could discuss her situation with, although her church bishop did express some degree of understanding.  Her lament is commonly shared by most experiencers.
The case of Robin Michelle Halberdier of Texas City, Texas, illustrates the overwhelming sense of love experiencers often encounter in the light.  Her near-death episode took place in a hospital when she was between one and two months of age.  Born prematurely, and with Hyaline Membrane disease, she was not expected to live (pages 12-13, paperback version, "BEYOND THE LIGHT"):
"My first visual memory was looking forward and seeing a brilliant bright light, almost like looking directly at the sun.  The strange thing was that I could see my feet in front of me, as if I were floating upward in a vertical position.  I do not remember passing through a tunnel or anything like that, just floating in the beautiful light.  A tremendous amount of warmth and love came from the light.

"There was a standing figure in the light, shaped like a normal human being, but with no distinct facial features.  It had a masculine presence.  The light I have described seemed like it emanated from that figure.  Light rays shone all around him.  I felt very protected and safe and loved.

"The figure in the light told me through what I now know to be mental telepathy that I must go back, that it was not time for me to come here.  I wanted to stay because I felt so full of joy and so peaceful.  The voice repeated that it wasn't my time; I had a purpose to fulfill and I could come back after I completed it.

"The first time I told my parents about my experience was right after I began to talk.  At the time, I believed that what happened to me was something everyone experienced.  I told my mom and dad about the big glass case I was in after I was born, and the figure in the light and what he said to me.  They took my reference to the glass case to mean the incubator.  My father was a medical student at the time, and he had read a book about near-death experiences.  From comparing the information in the book with what I told them, they decided that's what I was describing.  My mom told me all of this years later when I brought the subject up again.

"I began attending church at the age of five, and I would look at the picture of Jesus in the Bible and tell my mom that's who it was in the light.  I still have many physical difficulties with my health because of being premature.  But there is a strong need inside me that I should help others with what death is, and talk to terminally ill patients.  I was in the other world and I know there is nothing to be afraid of after death."
I found that both adults and children occasionally report being greeted on The Other Side by animals, especially if favored pets have previously died.  But it is the children who describe an animal heaven, some even insisting that they must go through it before they can reach the heaven where people are.  Adult cases can be equally compelling.
Several years before his death, Bryce Bond, a famous New York City media personality turned parapsychologist, shared with me the story of what happened to him when he once collapsed after a violent allergic reaction to pine nuts and was rushed to a hospital.  He remembered suddenly passing through a long tunnel toward a brilliant light, and then (pages 13-14, paperback version, "BEYOND THE LIGHT"):

"I hear a bark, and racing toward me is a dog I once had, a black poodle named Pepe.  When I see him, I feel an emotional floodgate open.  Tears fill my eyes.  He jumps into my arms, licking my face.  As I hold him, he is real, more real than I had ever experienced him.  I can smell him, feel him, hear his breathing, and sense his great joy at being with me again.

"I put my dog on the ground, and step forward to embrace my stepfather, when a very strong voice is heard in my consciousness.  Not yet, it says.  I scream out, Why?  Then this inner voice says, What have you learned, and whom have you helped?  I am dumb-founded.  The voice seems to be from without as well as within.  Everything stops for a moment.  I have to think of what was asked of me.  I cannot answer what I have learned, but I can answer whom I have helped.

"I feel the presence of my dog around me as I ponder those two questions.  Then I hear barking, and other dogs appear, dogs I once had.  As I stand there for what seems to be an eternity.  I want to embrace and be absorbed and merge.  I want to stay.  The sensation of not wanting to come back is overwhelming."

Bryce was also greeted by all of his relatives who had passed on before him.  He experienced these loved ones as somewhat younger in form and face than when he had last seen them, healthier and happier.  He remembered racing backward through the same tunnel he had entered when it was time to leave and reviving in time to witness a hypodermic needle being plunged into his arm.  "I heard a voice say, 'Welcome back.'  I never asked who said that nor did I care.  I was told by the doctor that I had been dead for over ten minutes."
Yet there are cases of "near-death-like" experiences that mimic those which occur during the trauma of death itself.  One of those is the story of Julian A. Milkes.  I met Milkes on a bumpy train ride to Long Island Sound, where I was slated to speak at a near-death study group meeting in Syosset, New York.  He is a retired teacher, and was returning that day from buying concert tickets in Times Square.  Here is what he told me (page 17, paperback version, "BEYOND THE LIGHT"):
"My mother and I were driving out to the lake one afternoon.  My dad was to follow later when he finished work.  We were having company for dinner, and, as we rode along, my mother spotted some wild flowers at the side of the road.  She asked if I wouldn't stop the car and pick them as they would look nice on the dinner table.  I pulled over to the right side of the road (it was not a major highway), parked the car, and went down a small incline to get off the road to pick the flowers.  While I was picking the flowers, a car came whizzing by and suddenly headed straight for me.

"As I looked up and saw what I presumed would be an inevitable death, I separated from my body and viewed what was happening from another perspective.  My whole life flashed in front of me, from that moment backwards to segments of my life.  The review was not like a judgment.  It was passive, more like an interesting novelty.

"I can't tell you how many times I think of that near-death experience.  Even as I sit here and write my story for you, it seems as though it happened only yesterday."

Milke suffered no injury.  The speeding car veered off just as suddenly as it had appeared, and sped away.  I have observed that the terror of an ultimate end, the kind of terror that sees no hope, no other alternative except death itself, is sometimes enough to shift people into a near-death mode.  Illness, injury, or body trauma is not necessary.
Seldom are suicide near-death scenarios hell-like.  Contrary to popular notions, most suicide near-death experiences are positive, or at least illustrative of the importance of life and its living.  Although I have yet to find a suicide experience that was in any way transcendent or in-depth, just to have something happen, anything that affirms that he or she is loved and special, seems miracle enough for the one involved.  Near-death survivors from suicide attempts can and often do return with the same sense of mission that any other experiencer of the phenomenon reports.  And that mission is usually to tell other potential victims that suicide is not the answer.  For example, this young man (he asked not to be identified - refer to pages 18-19, paperback version, "BEYOND THE LIGHT"):
"Since then, suicide has never crossed my mind as a way out.  It's a copout to me and not the way to heaven.  I wish you luck in your research and hope my experience will help stop someone from taking his own life.  It is a terrible waste."

Suicide near-death episodes can lay to rest problems and conflicts, explain away confusions, and emphasize the need to remain embodied.  Experiencers usually return with a feeling that suicide solves nothing, and they are notably renewed and refreshed by that feeling, using their near-death event as a source of courage, strength, and inspiration.

But not all suicide scenarios are positive.

Some are negative, and these can be so negative that they upset the individual more than the original problem that precipitated the suicide.  This kind of devastation can be transforming if used as a catalyst to help the person make the kind of changes that comprise constructive, long-term solutions.  Such changes can come from an inner awakening, or from the fear that what was experienced may indeed herald the individual's final fate if something is not done to turn things around.